What is spirituality for me? Am I spiritually inclined? Is it the religion? Or is it the idol of God whom I pray to everyday?
Since I was a little girl, Mom always told me there is “the Supreme Power” who protects us from all the bad and evil things in the world. She always used to tell me to spend at least a couple of minutes in the puja room after the morning shower. This spending of couple of minutes in the puja room was a habit inculcated because of Mom’s everyday instruction.It was just like brushing my teeth every morning, quite fitted in my genes with a conscious effort. As every child blindly follows its parents’ instructions at that tender age without asking for much explanation, Mom always explained stuff to me before asking me to follow it. When things are explained logically they stay with us forever. She told me that these two minutes would provide me the strength and courage to remove any fear that enters my mind. The prayer or the talk which I was trying to exchange with God in those couple of minutes was perfectly divided into steps. The first step was a prayer which meant “O, Supreme Lord, you are alone everything to me; you are my mother& my father; my friend & my beloved companion; my knowledge & my wealth.” This was something which was known to me by heart as it was repeated every morning. Initially I was struggling in memorising the Sanskrit words and then the correct diction, as my mother was very particular & stressed upon the right pronunciation. In a nutshell I had gauged the meaning and the essence of the prayer as “O Supreme God you are all in all to me!” The second part was more important in my eyes as it was requesting God to provide me with sufficient amount of common sense so that I could survive the day well. It would help me in making choices during the day & guide me through my decisions. And last but not the least of the prayer was thanking God for everything.  This was the mantra that I have been performing even before I started realizing the magnanimous existence of God.
Now, that I am ascending on the age ladder, I have been on a continuous progression on these thoughts as well. It initiated with a two minute ritual which has become practice without a demarcation of time & is no more restricted only to the morning prayers.
Whenever I find myself in confusion, need clarity in thoughts or maybe it’s a feeling which I experience and cannot put across in words, I share it with Him. It has been gradual through the years that have passed by and with every new day the connection is becoming clearer and stronger. It’s not necessary to feel the connection through words every time; it’s also the sequence of events and realizations.
It’s like going through a timelessness phase, where I feel I am moving towards “the purpose of my existence”, at times without even having a check on date and time.  The goal or purpose is evolving every time, it’s not constant. The current purpose is to help whomever I could; in whichever form I could provide happiness to them. For example by sharing a laugh with them which could make a difference to their lives even if it’s in a small way!
Dealing with splits is no longer possible. What I think is very close to what I say, and that is very close to what I do. So there is not much of a gap in thinking and finally doing.
Sensitivity towards the surroundings, nature, people, thoughts, music, actions, and usage of words has increased. Everything around has lost focus yet things are still very much in focus. There is a silent acknowledgement of all the forces acting behind any situation. For example, whenever the breeze blows & the blades of grass sway, in response a happy feeling passes in the heart which in turn brings a smile on the face. You start feeling to be a part of the omnipresent cycle which is embedded & connects every being of the entire universe, knowingly or unknowingly. This connection is felt and experienced by me.
My sense of judging people, situations, failures and success in life has transformed. I have started looking at things from a different point of view. It’s no more black or white, it is surely grey! I avoid extremesand look for the middle path in life, which has a mix of both bad and good. I have started conserving & utilizing my energy for better & higher purposes in life.
A feeling of love with all possible people or beings, whether it is a complete stranger, or a pup, or a close one or maybe it’s no one at all, but there is still a feeling of love present.
The sensation of nothingness where nothing is so important or crucial to me, but I still have clear demarcations on my list of priorities as per my duty. No loss makes me totally sad and neither is there anything that would make me happier than what I am already experiencing. Yet I still feel the pain in the cry of a kitten or a pup, who wants the shelter of its mother.
I feel like a wanderer. I belong to everything. No longer there is a sense of being apart.
Positive energy envelopes all around and which emerges from within. There is a silent smile, joy, happiness which keeps you going all the time, but actually this happiness, joy and smile has no evident reason or rhyme; yet it is omnipresent & everlasting.
A sense that something; somewhere; someone is sheltering me & is enveloping me in an aura of protection. The voice which I hear inside when in doubt is clearer than my own voice, that instant guidance which I receive when in doubt the minute I close my eyes and think of Him. The feeling that someone is so very -very close to me is inseparable.
The feeling of being ALIVE totally, eternally, the addiction towards life has taken a supreme place. The magnetism to go deeper into the undefined magnanimous presence of the Supreme, is driving me, motivating me and pulling me towards my actual purpose for what I am here for.
So, this feeling has graduated from an idol to every possible atom present around me and it is still growing!
This is my sense of spirituality; it’s not restricted to any religion, to any caste or to any fixed form of God!
Keep exploring and find your sense of spiritualism!
Happy Exploring!

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