I would always remember the day my MBA results came out. It was one of the best days of my life. I was indeed the first one in my family to do a post graduation. My parents were totally thrilled and were full of happy emotions. This was the best phase of my life but yet again the struggle had not ended here, completely. The campus placements were on for jobs; students were getting placed day in day out. There was rejoice, sadness, patience, tension all personified all over the campus. I was one amongst a few who were waiting for their kind of a job profile. This wait was being displayed on me through mixed emotions which were a combination of tension, patience, tolerance to some extent, risk and perseverance. The day the company came in for which I wanted to sit for the interview & I received the job, I was on cloud nine. I had eyes full of tears reflecting happiness. First time in my life I had felt and realised what people used to refer to as “khushi ke aansu “. That day in a way all struggle and suffering had ended paving the way for the “moment of happiness”. At the bottom of my heart and at the top of my mind I was pleasingly relieved that I would not have to pick up anymore books to study. I was done with it, no more of studying and learning was required.
After working for 4.5 years in different companies, I realised there was a feeling of stagnancy in me. I wasn’t progressing much on the knowledge front. Work had become monotonous and whenever there was a situation to be handled, the way out was also decided out of the usual couple of options which were tried and tested. Every year I used to go and meet my Professor in college in Bangalore. We use to discuss work, life in general and I always used to end up telling him that this wasn’t what I wanted to do, or this is not providing me enough satisfaction and happiness. Though I was successful on the job front but there wasn’t a feeling of total elation anywhere. Everything was very robotic & mechanical. After a few months I realised I had to take a grip on the situation and correct this. I eventually left my job. And after leaving my job I got myself enrolled for yoga sessions, guitar classes and started reading a lot; a hobby which I had practically forgotten that it existed.
Out of the blue a friend called who had done a Tarot reading course lately. After hearing that, I bombarded her with a number of questions and a long list of questions kept adding on. She did answer the questions in whatever time she could spare for me. With this session I had become totally curious about Tarot as a subject. Like how it worked, the science behind it etc. I started inquiring about it in details. I wanted to take up the course in Tarot and learn this in details. During the course I felt a sense of satisfaction which I had not felt earlier ever. As the course progressed it gave me more and more happiness. I felt as if in these years I had actually stopped feeling happy on small things in life. Through this entire course I felt totally rejuvenated. I had got back myself to a large extent which I had lost somewhere while keeping up the pace with the corporate life.
It made me realise something truly that it wasn’t just that I had stopped learning. This stagnancy had affected all spheres of my life. I had stopped being genuinely happy, somewhere I had stopped seeing enough reasons to be happy. I had stopped making efforts to care for people who were close to me and similarly even life wasn’t caring for me enough. I had stopped laughing my heart out as I felt life wasn’t even providing me enough options to do so. As the energy I was emitting the same was getting attracted by me. I was just flitting over life. This was a total lesson in its own. I realised I should never stop something which is good and healthy for me. I should always keep this going and stagnancy wouldn’t even touch me. And even if I feel it is catching me, I should start with the correction process immediately.
After finishing the course I thought of immediately starting with the practice. And not behave like ordinary people who eventually do start but late. And from then it is me now, who is professionally practicing Tarot reading full time and enjoying it totally!
Without action there is inertia, procrastination, fear and avoidance.